FLOW level 1
1.01.Baseball Pig
There is a little pig. The pig wants to be a baseball player. Everyday, he practices baseball. He
practices hitting a baseball. He wants to be a big hitter.
After 10 years of practice, the pig decides to try out for the New York Yankees-- the most
famous baseball team in America. He takes a direct flight to New York, then rents a car and
drives to Yankee Stadium.
He tries out for the Yankees, but the Yankees reject him. The Yankees' manager says, "I'm
sorry. You are an amazing baseball player, but we can't let a pig join our team."
The pig is very unhappy. He goes home and cries everyday. Finally, his friend says to him,
"Come on, get a grip! Stop crying and try again with another team."
The pig listens to his friend. He stops crying. He practices baseball everyday.
One day, he is reading the newspaper and he finds out that the San Francisco Giants need new
baseball players. The pig immediately flies to San Francisco.
He tries out for the Giants. The Giants are very impressed with the pig. The manager says,
"Wow, you are the best hitter I have ever seen". The Giants hire the pig and pay him 2 dollars.
In his first game, the pig hits 5 home runs! Everyone in San Francisco loves the pig! The
Giants give him a big raise. They pay him 540 million dollars!
The pig is rich, famous, and happy.
Vocab/Phrases
big hitter: someone who can hit a baseball very far (ie. a strong hitter)
to try out (for): to try to get a job (usually used in sports or other performance jobs)
direct flight: a flight with no stops, (an airplane trip with no stops)
to reject: to say "no" to, to refuse
"come on": (idiom) "hurry", "do [something] now"-- (always used as a command)
get a grip: control your emotions, calm down (be calm), control yourself
to find out: to learn, to discover (new information)
impressed with: think (someone/something) is great
hitter: a person who hits
to hire: to give a job (to someone)
home run: the biggest hit in baseball, (idiom) a very big success
a raise: a pay increase, an increase in money (for a job)
1.02.Evil English Teacher
There's an evil English teacher. He's a very bad teacher.
He comes into his class. The students're sitting at their desks, waiting for him.
The teacher says to the class, "Everyday, we'll study English grammar. If you make a mistake,
I'll hit you with a stick"
Then the teacher opens his textbook. He says, "Today we we'll learn the Past Perfect
Progressive verb tense, as well as the Future Conditional."
He points to a girl and says, "What's the Past Perfect Progressive?"
The girl's very nervous, she says, "I don't know"
As soon as she finishes speaking, the evil teacher jumps across the room with a large stick- and
hits her on the head. The girl cries.
The other students are very scared. The teacher points to a boy and says, "What is the Future
Conditional".
The boy says nothing.
The teachers says, "Go ahead-- answer! Now!"
The boy says, "But, but.. we haven't learned it yet"
The evil teacher says, "In other words, you don't know it!" He jumps across the room and hits
the boy hard on the head. The boy cries.
All the students are scared and miserable. They hate the evil teacher. But they're lucky. One
student has a cell phone.
She secretly dials the number of her friend, AJ.
AJ answers the phone, "Hello"
The student whispers, "This is Kaori. Help us AJ, please help us. An evil English teacher is
beating us"
AJ says, "Don't worry, I'll be right there."
AJ jumps on his motorcycle and speeds to the school. He runs through the front door, down
the hall, and bursts into the class.
He says to the evil teacher, "Stop hitting these students, you bastard!"
Then he runs across the room. He picks up a desk and hits the evil teacher with it. The evil
teacher falls to the floor. He is beaten.
AJ looks at Kaori and says, "What do you want me to do with him?"
Kaori says, "Its up to you. You decide".
AJ throws the evil teacher out the window and says, "No more evil grammar study. You are
free!"
The students cheer "Yeah"! Everyone is very happy.
Vocab
evil: very very bad
as well as: in addition to, also
as soon as: when, just after (something happens)
go ahead: begin, start to do something
in other words: say something in a different way, say something more directly
hard: powerfully
miserable: very sad & unhappy
hate: opposite of love, really dislike
cell phone: mobile phone
dials: push numbers on a phone
I'll be right there: I'll arrive soon, I will be there soon
speeds: goes fast, drives very fast
bursts: enters (a room) very fast
bastard: bad person, jerk (NOT polite ;) (used to insult a man)
beaten: defeated
Its up to you: you decide, it is your decision
cheer: to yell (when happy)
1.03.Fat Man
There is a fat man. The man is very fat. He weighs 500 pounds (227 kg). When he walks, he
always gets tired.
The very fat man wants to lose weight. In fact, his doctor tells him, "You must lose weight or
you will die!"
The fat man is scared. He doesn't want to die. So he starts a diet. For one month, he eats only
grass. Of course, the grass tastes terrible. But the man really wants to lose weight.
Unfortunately, after one month, he is still very fat. He doesn't lose any weight! Not one pound!
The fat man is frustrated. He decides to exercise. Everyday he walks 12 miles (20 km).
Everyday he is very tired. In fact, he is exhausted.
But after one month, the man is still very fat! Oh no! He is extremely frustrated!
He decides to give up. He goes to a restaurant. He wants to eat everything, because he is so
frustrated.
At the restaurant, he meets a beautiful women. She likes him. He likes her. They begin to date.
Every day, the woman cooks healthy food for the fat man. His new girlfriend makes a
difference in his life.
The fat man loses weight. After 6 months, he weighs only 170 pounds (77 kg)! He is thin and
he has a wonderful girlfriend.
The man is thrilled. The man and his girlfriend are both thrilled.
Vocab
gets: becomes
in fact: actually; the truth is
really: very much
frustrated: upset or angry because of failure
exhausted: very, very tired
extremely: very, very
to give up: to quit
to date: to be boyfriend & girlfriend
makes a difference: causes a change in a situation
thrilled: very excited and happy
1.04.Female seeks Male
Julia was 12 years old. Her best friend Betsy was 13. Summer was almost over. School was
about to start. Julia and Betsy were about to eat lunch at TacoBell. Betsy decided that Julia
needed a boyfriend.
“But why?” asked Julia. “I’m okay without one. What good is a 12-year-old boy? All they’re
interested in is playing baseball or riding their skateboards. Where does a girl fit into that
picture?”
“Don’t be silly,” replied Betsy. “As to 12-year olds, forget about them. They’re immature. You
should have someone more experienced— you’ll be better off with someone at least 13 years
old. Someone who will carry your books and walk you to your classes. You need someone who’ll
give you a Valentine’s Day card and remember your birthday.
“I’ve got a backpack to carry my books, and I know where all my classes are. I don’t want a
Valentine’s Day card from someone I don’t love. I’m too young. Besides, you don’t have a
boyfriend. Why should I?”
“Because you're my first client. I've decided that I'm going to be a matchmaker when I grow
up.”
“Well, if I'm your first client, that means I'll probably be your first mistake. No, thank you.”
Vocabulary
about to: almost ready to do something
fit into that picture: fit in, make sense
as to: with regard to, according to
immature: not mature, childish
more experienced: mature, knowledgeable
better off: better, in a better situation
Valentine’s Day: romantic holiday on February 14th
besides: also, in contrast to
client: customer
matchmaker: a person who tries to match people romantically
probably: likely
1.05.Goats being hired
Goats are being hired to do the work of men in a neighborhood outside of San Diego. The fires
that occurred in the neighborhood four years ago burned thirty homes. Most of the homes have
been rebuilt. While contractors were rebuilding the homes, nature was regrowing the grasses,
bushes, and shrubs. The area is once again overgrown with brush that poses a major fire hazard.
The city council asked for bids to remove the brush. The lowest bid they received was $50,000.
And that was if the city provided breakfast and lunch for the work crews for six weeks. The city
countered and offered unlimited coffee and a doughnut a day for each crew member. When that
offer was rejected, the city asked for help on its website.
A sheep herder in Montana and a goat herder in San Bernardino read about the city’s plight.
They read about it while surfing the web on their laptops. They both offered to do the job for
$25,000. The council chose the goat herder because he lived closer.
If all goes well, they will invite the goat herder and his goats back every three years. The goat
herder said he will probably visit San Diego while his goats are working. “I want to take one of
those hang-glider rides. I just hope we don’t crash. My goats would end up missing me a lot,”
he said.
Vocabulary
occurred: happened
contractors: builders, companies that build
regrowing: grow again
once again: again
brush: small plants, weeds
poses: is, presents
countered: counter offer, negotiation
sheep herder: sheep owner, farmer
goat herder: goat owner, farmer
plight: problem
surfing the web: using the internet
hang-glider: un-powered plane
end-up: do something unplanned or unexpected
1.06.Green Peanut Butter
There is a guy. He wants to drink 12 cups of green peanut butter. He needs green peanut butter.
So he goes to Starbucks. He tells the clerk, "I'll have 12 large cups of green peanut butter".
The clerk says, "We don't have green peanut butter at Starbucks-- we only serve blue peanut
butter".
The guy is upset. He leaves Starbucks. He goes to Greenland. When he gets to Greenland, he
immediately goes to another coffee shop. He tells the clerk, "I'll have 12 large cups of green
peanut butter". The clerk is surprised and says, "We don't have green peanut butter in
Greenland.... but, we make the best purple peanut butter in the world. Its to die for!"
The guy orders a cup of purple peanut butter, and it tastes great. However, he still wants green
peanut butter. He asks the clerk, "Where can I find green peanut butter".
The clerks says, "Try Chapel Hill, North Carolina... its famous for its green peanut butter."
The guy's excited. He takes the first available flight to Chapel Hill. After landing, he
immediately goes to a coffee shop to look for green peanut butter.
He says to the clerk, "I'll take 12 cups of green peanut butter. Make sure they are large cups!"
The clerk makes 12 huge cups of green peanut butter. Each cup is one gallon [~4 liters]. The
clerk puts all 12 huge cups of green peanut butter on the table. The guy drinks them all in 20
seconds!
At the table next to him, a woman watches with wide eyes as the guy drinks the green peanut
butter. She tells her friend, "Get a load of that guy, he's drinking green peanut butter!"
The man's stomach grows very big. He instantly gains 264 pounds (120 kg)! He smiles to the
women at the next table as he leaves the coffee shop.
He returns home. He is fat and happy because he finally found green peanut butter!
1.07.Mama's Boys
Sara recently retired from her job of 23 years. Because she retired, Sara has less money than
she used to. She has enough money for herself, but she has a problem.
She has 2 sons. One is 23 and the other is 26. Both sons work. However, they both live at
home with their mom. They eat her food and expect her to cook for them. They also expect
Sara to clean their rooms. The boys never do any chores at all. Also, they don't pay for food or
anything else. In short, they are mama's boys.
Sare is sick of the situation. She thinks, "They're adults. They should be living on their own,
not still living with their mother. I'm going to kick them out."
During dinner that night, Sara tells the boys, "Its time for you two to take responsibility. You
can't live with me anymore. I'm not going to cook for you. I'm not going to clean for you. You
need to grow up and get your own apartments!"
The boys are very upset. They complain. They rant and rave-- "You're a terrible mom. How
can you do this. We're your children. Its not fair." The boys continue to rant and rave for 57
hours without stopping. But Sara won't budge.
She tells them, "You have 1 month to find your own apartment. No more whining-- just do it."
Then Sara leaves the room.
The next day, the boys come to the kitchen for breakfast-- but there's no food. Sara refuses to
cook for them. She says, "You have jobs-- get your own food and make it yourself. " The boys
can't believe it!
This happens everyday. The boys gradually lose weight because they won't cook for
themselves. Finally, on the 28th day, they look for an apartment. They find a 2 bedroom for
$750 a month. They sign a one year lease.
They rush home to tell their mother. They're very excited because this will be their first
apartment. They tell their mom, "We did it. We found an apartment. We'll move in
tomorrow."
Sara says, "I'm very proud of you. You're finally becoming independent."
The next day, the boys move in. They have a big party with their friends. In fact, every night
they have parties at their apartment. They're very happy because now they have their own
place-- and they can have parties all the time!
Sara is happy too, because her boys are finally growing up.
Vocab
retired: stopped working
used to: than (she) did in the past, once did/had
mama's boys: immature adult men, boy/man who is too dependent on his mom (an insult)
sick of: tired of, no longer like a situation, annoyed with
kick them out: make someone leave, force someone to leave
take responsibility: be independent, be responsible
to grow up: become mature, become an independent adult
rant and rave: to complain & yell a lot
won't budge: will not change (a decision)
whining: complaining
lease: a contract (for an apartment)
move in: to move into a new place, to go to a new home
1.08.Man Injured at Fast Food Restaurant
There is a man. He is 79 years old. He is hurt while waiting in his brand new car. He is in a
drive-through at a fast-food restaurant.
The man gets a mild burn when all of a sudden an employee spills coffee on him. The man
says, "OW, this coffee is REALLY hot".
The restaurant manager feels very bad. Before the man drives off the manager gives him a free
gallon of coffee and a free sandwich. The employee who spilled the coffee is a new hire. She is
let go for her mistake.
Present : Past Versions of verbs:
is: was
waiting: was waiting
gets: got
spills: spilled
says: said
feels: felt
drives off: drove off
gives: gave
is let go: was let go
1.08.Man Injured at Fast Food Restaurant
There is a man. He is 79 years old. He is hurt while waiting in his brand new car. He is in a
drive-through at a fast-food restaurant.
The man gets a mild burn when all of a sudden an employee spills coffee on him. The man
says, "OW, this coffee is REALLY hot".
The restaurant manager feels very bad. Before the man drives off the manager gives him a free
gallon of coffee and a free sandwich. The employee who spilled the coffee is a new hire. She is
let go for her mistake.
Present : Past Versions of verbs:
is: was
waiting: was waiting
gets: got
spills: spilled
says: said
feels: felt
drives off: drove off
gives: gave
is let go: was let go
1.09.Sick In India
I'm in India, travelling by myself. Its a great place and I love it. I arrive in a town called
Jodhpur. Though I like the country, I have a big problem.
I ate some bad food . Now my stomach is bad. Everyday, my stomach gets worse. In the
beginning, I only had nausea. I lost my appetite. But now I've got diarrhoea and vomiting
too. I feel terrible.
However, I want to see Jodhpur, so I leave my hotel and walk into the city. The city is filled
with old stone buildings. Some of the buildings are painted blue. I make my way to a huge hill
in the middle of the city. On top of the hill is a big fort. I hail a cab to take me to the top of the
hill.
When I arrive, I walk around the fort. The views from the top are amazing. I can see the whole
city. I'm walking when suddenly I get a sharp pain in my stomach.
"Ohhh", I cry. I sit down. My skin is pale. I feel weak.
A British tourist comes over and asks me, "Are you OK?"
"No", I say. "I think I need to see a doctor".
The British woman says, "Ill help you... I'll take you to a doctor".
We walk out of the fort and find a taxi. We tell the taxi driver, "Take us to the nearest hospital".
The taxi driver looks at me and says, "You don't look good. You look very white- sorta like a
ghost. You definitely need a doctor."
He drives fast-- down the hill, through the streets, to a small hospital.
We go into the hospital. The British girl says, "He needs to see a doctor, he's very sick".
The nurse gives me some papers and says, "Fill out these forms. Be sure to fill in all the
information correctly". There are 78 pages to fill out. Each page has 67 blanks to fill in.
"Oh my god", I say, "I'm too sick to do this. I want to see the doctor now".
The nurse says, "You must fill out all the forms first!"
I'm too sick to do it. So instead, I fall on the floor and act as if I'm having a seizure! I kick my
legs, wave my arms, and yell really loud.
The nurse says, "Oh my god." She runs and gets the doctor. They take me in a room and the
doctor examines me.
He says, "You'll be OK, but you can't eat any more Indian curries. You can only eat bananas and
white rice".
He gives me a big banana. I eat it and I'm very happy. My stomach feels much better.
Vocab
by myself: alone
nausea: bad feeling in stomach, no desire to eat, upset stomach
appetite: desire to eat
diarrhoea: uncontrolled shitting, too much defecating
vomiting: throwing up, (food comes up from your stomach and out your mouth)
make my way: go (slowly)
hail a cab: call a taxi
a sharp pain: a very strong pain in a specific part of the body
pale: without color, colorless
sorta [sort of]: kind of, a little bit like
fill out: write information in/on
fill in: write information in/on
as if: like, similar to, pretending to
seizure: uncontrolled body movements
examines: looks at carefully
1.10.Starving Bug
There's a bug. He's a very, very big bug. He's hungry. In fact, He's starving! So, the giant bug
goes to a bug restaurant. This restaurant's only for bugs. No one else can go. The bug goes
into the restaurant.
The hostess says, "Hi. How many?"
The giant bug says, "Just one."
The hostess says, "Follow me"
The giant bug follows the hostess. The hostess takes him to a table in the corner. He sits down.
"The waitress'll be with you shortly", says the hostess.
The giant bug looks at the menu. He's very hungry. He decides to order soup, a salad, a
hamburger, a steak, french fries, green beans, and a milkshake. He puts down the menu and
waits for the waitress.
He waits 5 minutes. The waitress doesn't come. He waits 10 minutes, then 20, then 30
minutes... but the waitress still doesn't come.
Now he's really starving. He waves his hands to get the waitress' attention. Finally, after 39
minutes, she comes to his table.
She says, "Can I take your order?"
The bug says, "Yes! I'd like a large vegetable soup, a salad, 3 hamburgers, 2 steaks, french fries,
and green beans."
The waitress says, "Would you like anything to drink?"
The bug says, "Ah, yes. I'll have a large milkshake, two Cokes, and a coffee"
The waitress says, "Anything else?"
"No, that's it", says the bug.
The waitress leaves and takes the bug's order to the kitchen. The bug waits. He waits 15
minutes... but no food. He waits 19 minutes, but no food. He waits 28 minutes, but no food.
The bug is starving. He wants to eat! He sees the waitress and calls her over to his table.
"Excuse me, can you check on my food please? I'm starving!", he says.
"Sure", the waitress says.
The waitress returns with a large bowl of vegetable soup.
"The rest of your food is coming soon", she says.
The bug's very happy. He immediately starts eating the soup.
But there's a problem. There's a small person in his soup! He can't believe it.
He yells, "Ahhhh, there's a person in my soup". He throws the bowl on the floor and runs outta
the restaurant.
Now he's really upset, and he's still starving! The bug runs to McDonalds. He gets 47
hamburgers and eats them all.
He smiles and says, "Ahhh, I'm full. I couldn't eat another bite."
He's very happy because he got some food at last.
Vocab
starving: very hungry
restaurant's: restaurant is
no one else: no other "person" (in this story: no other kind of animal)
hostess: person who greets customers at a restaurant, person who brings people to tables
waitress'll: waitress will
shortly: in a short time, soon
puts down: puts (it) on the table
really starving: super hungry!
waves: moves his hand
get the waitress' attention: make the waitress see (him)
I'd like: I would like, I want
that's it: that is everything, that's all
calls her over: calls her to come to him, calls her to his table
check on: check the situation (with), ask about, see what is happening (with)
outta: out of
upset: emotional (not happy)
I'm full: my stomach is full, I have eaten a lot
I couldn't eat another bit: I'm very full, I can't eat more
at last: finally
1.11.Super Cow
There is a girl. She is a beautiful blond. Her name is Buffy and she lives on a farm with vampire
cows. The cows love to suck blood! Dracula (King of the Vampires) once owned them!
One day, there is a powerful rainstorm! It lasts 7 days! The rain turns into a big river flowing by
Buffy’s farm. She moves her cows to higher ground. But she slips and hits her head on a giant
tree. The fall knocks her out for a moment or two. When she comes to, Xander is licking her
face. Xander is her favorite cow.
The water rises. Buffy gets up and walks with Xander. The water is now waist high. Buffy is
tired. Finally she throws her arm around Xander’s neck and hangs on. 27 minutes pass and
Xander pulls Buffy out of the water. They are on a small island in the middle of the big river.
It is noon. The sky is dark and it rains very hard. Rescuers discover Buffy right away. A plane
takes her to the emergency room at the hospital.
Two days later, Buffy goes back to the island. Xander is gone. He is one of 17 vampire cows
that Buffy looses. Buffy cries and cries. Buffy says “I owe my life to him after all!!!” “He
saved me.”
Vocab Phrase: Meaning
knocks her out: loses consciousness (not awake)
a moment or two: very little time
comes to: wakes up
waist high: 2 or 3 feet high
hangs on: holds
right away: quickly
goes back: returns
after all: in fact (after everything that happened)
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